Surgery Day Minus One

Posted on September 30, 2026 by Kelsey

Tomorrow is it. At last. I have been in the pre-op stage for so long that now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do! Today, I’ll work, though not quite like normal, as I need to do a few things such as go to the pharmacy, and maybe prepare the pallet fork frame to receive a bale of hay. Save me the stress of the lifting of the heavy metal later when I am in healing phase, as the hay will come due at that point. I might like a moment in the woodshop, too.

I really don’t know what to expect from the after phase. Will it be painful? Will it be extremely painful? Will I have enough meds that by the time I am out, I won’t feel anything at all? I had surgery on my chest when I was 15, and I could feel that for the next 25 years or so. Not painful, but numb, at least. Maybe this will be the same, but I don’t know! Will it mean changes? Will it bring changes to my diet, or how I feel in other parts of my body that the parathyroid gland affects? Little stresses in my chest could be caused by high calcium in my blood. Will those go away? Or is there something else, more sinister going on there?

I am meant to get a call today to let me know of the time of my operation. I Googled information about how long I should be starved before it. Looks like I will be good up till evening meal, and even then, some, depending on the time. Well, that alleviates a little worry on my part. Missus is not happy with the late informative call as one cannot properly arrange childcare and the like. I have assured her that I am far more concerned about their ability to perform the procedure than their ability to arrange the time or the paperwork.

I have been a bit uneasy for about a month now. At first, I was unsure how they came up with the idea that I needed someone rooting around in my neck, cutting away at the glands. A second blood test was performed, and the number needed was correct for surgery. By last weekend, I went into it feeling really good! I mean, I thought twice again about surgery. I was feeling fantastic! Saturday was great. Sunday a little worse for wear, but by late Sunday night and Monday morning, I was hurting right at the front of my neck, bigtime. I could not sleep from 12:30AM till gone 5AM. I managed to pull together an hour of Z’s after waking Missus up at 5:00, and before getting up at 6:15. I had a nap after taking the girls to their school bus. That was about twenty minutes. Then I got up and went to work, and had a relatively normal work day. I even made the normally expected amount.

Yesterday was fine, and I even earned higher than I would normally expect to on a Tuesday. I usually take them off, but I will have time off later this week, won’t I? And I’m American, aren’t I? So, if I am breathing, I am earning money for the Company.

So, in the end, I have not liked scheduling an outpatient surgery for a month out. That is not great on my anxiety. I have not had any sort of mid-level operations like this before. I had the one on my chest, and I have had the sist removed from behind my right ear. Both of those when I was a kid. I was awake for the ear. Oh, and I had a colonoscopy. a year or more ago. That was not so big a deal in the end. Well. Anyway. But this is the first time genuinely going in and messing about with any kind of thing that really keeps me going.

And I am now coming down to the 24-hour deadline. Finally. I will finally get more than a day off work, though it don’t sound like I am going to really enjoy it like I would a vacation. This is more of one of those kinds of vacation in the way you add the word to something like Bible School. Vacation Bible School. The word vacation is put there to make the rest sound appealing. It doesn’t work. I will be on rest. I will be on rest till I can turn my head and check over my shoulder for a car in the next lane. Then I am back to work.

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Subday Night at the ‘Ol Homestead

Posted on September 27, 2026 by Kelsey

Kids are getting ready for school, and one is revieing the music for the play in December. The animals are fed, and the chores are done outside. We managed to get the dog to be quiet by seperating her from her brother. Turns out maybe she spends all night barking at him, or because of him. Whatever the cause, she is quiet now. The neighbor’s are burning something and it is gathering on the front porch, so the door has to stay closed. Not ideal, but that’s country life.

I won’t be taking my day off this Tuesday as I will be off on Thursday and onwards for the operation. I have not been looking forward to it, but today I logged in and had a look at my most recent blood test, and the numbers don’t lie. I need the op. I also have been feeling so good lately, I was beginning to doubt, but today was not so good, and the symptoms were definitely there. While that is not exciting either, it at least justifies the surgery, and I am happier about going ahead with it.

I also got wind of who all is taking the day off that day. I am afraid I have upset some people’s schedules. Two households anyway. Yikes! But not my choice, it is theirs. I need to confirm the time though, and see if this is all really necessary. I found the date of the appointment in the Hospital portal when I logged in the frist time today, and it set the date and added the time at 6:10PM. Is that right? I will call tomorrow to ask.

Work today was alright. I stayed clear of all the moaning on the local Discord server, and stayed positive. I earned $19.66 an hour, and was able to keep going for just shy of six hours, but as I said, I was feeling symptoms and not really well at all. This week was far better than the last few weeks have been. Is that because of Homecoming, just the fact the kids are back for school, or because I have had better access to Earn By Time? Or is it just keeping away from the negativity of Discord? Maybe it was all of the above!

I unloaded my camera of the recent photos I took. I had one in particular that was fun to share with my oldest daughter as she just sent me one that was a similar, yet totally different shot of a road. Hers was from an overpass looking down on the freeway at traffic. It is a very balanced and yet very dynamic. I like the symbolism I read into it of people on the same highway going in different directions. It is almost Yin and Yang like in its balance. Mine is a road vanishing into the fog, then up the hill heading towards distant mountains on a cloudy day. It is a little underexposed for dramatic effect. I thought it was interesting our recent photos were of similar topics. She’s not the only daughter I have those kinds of thought sincronizations with.

Three days of work. Then I am off for a unpredictable amount of time. No idea how long till I am recouperated enough to do some light shop work or other things. As for driving, I will need to be able to turn my head to check a lane change. My nerves are fine. Lie, lie, lie!

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September 8, 2026

Posted on September 8, 2026 by Kelsey

Using the CPAP has been wonderful apart from a little trouble dealing with sleeping with the mask, or it fighting stubble on my face, or the hose. These are difficult things, because they do interfere with my sleep, but then I get back to sleep, and everything is wonderful because I get such a good night’s rest overall. Except for last night.

Last night I slept very poorly. I could not get comfortable after I woke up around 1:30AM. I tried and tried. I even put on Robinson Carusoe. That proved too interesting to sleep for a while. Missus needed waking up at 4:00AM, and I did get back to sleep around half to a quarter to. Well, of course! Then I fell asleep again about the same amount of time before it was time to get the girls up and ready for school. Been awake since.

Work has been a little less fun lately. It was always hard to earn enough, but it has been worse these past couple of weeks. DoorDash is trying to really force drivers to take really crap orders paying less than a dollar a mile. I need to work out a better income. That is not enough to cover repairing the car if/when it breaks again. It takes all I have got to earn barely enough to get by on. Is it time to go back to the YouTube idea and run like the dickens with it before the February deadline when they up viewership and the like in order to monitize? Might be best. I still want to do photography. Portraiture, specifically. I still have the log mill and the log splitter to earn some off from. But I will tell you, DoorDashing is not going anywhere.

Right, just a quick note today. I am so tired from the lack of sleep. It is the first since starting CPAP two weeks ago, so I should not complain. But I will get a nap. Shame to have to on my day off.

Posted in Delivery Jobs, Firewood, Journal Entry, Photography, YouTube | Leave a comment

The Horse

Posted on September 3, 2026 by Kelsey

I was maybe five or six when I went to my great grandmother’s house to be watched for the first time I can really remember. I could very well have been younger. I don’t know what mom was doing, but given the circumstances, maybe to court, maybe to a government office to sign up for housing or food. Who knows? But I was left with my great grandmother, which means grandma was either not around, or went with mom.

Great grandma welcomed me to her house, which fascinated me even at that age as a neat, tidy little bungalow or what not, and well kept for its age. Of course, by then it was only about 50 years old. Young by my standards today. Then, she asked me, “Do you want to see my horse?” I looked around trying to figure out where at that house she could possibly be keeping a horse! I was astonished at the prospect!

Then she pulled from a nail on a wall a long brass shoehorn with a horse’s head on the top of it. I was a bit disappointed but I was also amazed at how this shiny ojbect did in fact look like a little horse. That was around 1975. About 51 years later, I have finally just built a little hanger all its own for my bedroom because I now use it every day to get my shoes on safely without ruining them, and without losing my balance. I am near the age she was then.

Of course from a straight on angle the horse looks a bit more like a dog, however, from the side it is most definitely a horse!

Every day I think for a moment of my great grandmother, Amy Siedenberg, born Amy Eliza Walker, in Eden, Utah, not far from where I live today. She was a true;y rare person in my life in that every memory I have of her, except of the time she had a stroke, is a good one. The first one is of that horse.

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Thinking Thoughts on Work

Posted on September 2, 2026 by Kelsey

I have an appointment later today, and because of it, I find it unworthwhile to try to go into work first, or after before I have to pick the kids up at their bus stop. I will this evening, when the earnings are worth it. So, in the meantime, I find myself in an odd occasion of being home alone. Time to think.

Out here in the country in America, it is a hard time or place to be on hard times. But that is the fix I see the whole country in, unless you are among the ‘let them eat cake’ elite. We, are not. Rather, we are cake eaters. The cake being mud. I am in fact checking the price of gas in town for later, so I am not shocked out of existence when it comes time to fuel up the car this evening when I do go to work.

Missus feels like these are lost times. We don’t have much opportunity, and we don’t have much hope. The present and the future are bleak. I keep on working day after day. I like the work I do, but I don’t like the miserable pay, and I don’t like… Well, that’s most of it right there. I don’t get paid even half of what the work is worth. I know, it is “just” DoorDashing. But it does not pay a person well enough to live on, much less the cost of their car and fuel and sundries.

My best hope is from the camera. That is one thing I can do, and do well. I can shoot photos. Not like, I can pick up an Android or I-Phone and shoot a picture. I can see, and I can imagine, and I can create. I know I lack, and am not the best at it by any means. But I have always been able to do. I have a vision. I have my own way of seeing and I can make a portrait of someone. That is where I need to be making money. It is where my heart has always belonged. It is where I enjoy my work. I am crap at marketing, on the other hand.

I could go and find a work-a-day job. But I have got the kids and need to be there for them at any moment. I refuse to let them fall to second place to anything.

We have an upcoming wood issue. The place where we get our firewood offered as much as we could possibly get for free. But it is about to close. I would give them till the end of this season, and I think they will be closed up, cleaned up, and ready for construction in the spring. They are building a new facility that has nothing to do with our firewood.

My best solution would be to open the yard across the street and letting people drop wood off there. Then I could resale it as mulch from the leaves and twigs, firewood from the branches, and logs, and I could use trunks for my woodshop, and for my own lumber sales. From all this, I could also get firewood made for ours and Jordan’s houses. We could also boost by offering free pickup or low-cost pickup for people looking to get rid of a tree they or a company felled at their house, though I see insurance coming into play for that. Meanwhile, portraits are on offer whenever, to whomever.

It is just a matter of moving my feet. After all, I can DoorDash whenever I need any other money, too. There has got to be a way forward! These are where I think we could go from here, for a while, as long as my health holds out.

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CPAP

Posted on August 25, 2026 by Kelsey

I have finally tried a CPAP to help me breath through the night properly, and sleep better. I received it in the mail yesterday and set it up as soon as I could. It came to me through Alpine Health, of Utah. It all began with a sleep study that I had to do for one night, then turn in, and after that, I got nothing back from the sleep lab, at all. Then my kids started getting calls from Alpine Health, rather than me, and for what, at that time, I did not know. When I got it worked out what it was, and returned the call, they were ever so friendly and nice, but that was a sales rep, and not a medical professional. I was to receive a machine, but again, with no information about my sleep study, or why. Then the machine arrived with some basic set-up instructions and steps that were frustrating till I left the machine alone for a while, only to come back to find out that the whole problem was rooted in it needing to do an update. After that, it set up just fine. But I could easily see how someone older would have gotten completely lost and totally pissed off.

Finally, I slept with it on last night, and badly, apparently. I did not know what I was doing with it, and it was leaking profusely right next to where it has vents, so I thought it was likely just normal venting. Turns out, it wasn’t. But I fell sleep fairly fast, and woke up to answer nature’s call twice. Once around 1AM, and again at 5AM. By 5 though, I had slept for about seven hours, and I was done with it. I felt awake and ready to start my day!

Today I felt pretty damned good all day and only fell asleep for about a quarter of an hour around 3:45PM. Now it is almost half seven, and I am eager to give it a try again, as I saw that it was unhappy with the mask overnight, and gave it some tweaks that I think will fix it. Perhaps an even better night’s sleep awaits me? I don’t know!

So, in summary, this has been mysterious and annoying as I have dealt with the sleep study lab and the equipment provider and even the gear itself. But I think that with the results I have felt in just the first night, I will be far better off for it.

Today I woke up clear headed, and no aching at all. I felt more rested than I think I may ever have. I slept for long unbroken periods, and to show for it, I have felt so good that I took the day off of most of my chores to rest and try to make this into the world’s shortest vacation.

I hope that I will see the same results after a second night, and I will have accumulated enough Bonafide rest to actually have a great day, even a serious of great days, starting tomorrow. If these results continue, I hope to be as happy as a lark with the machine and able to recommend it to anyone who needs one, despite the painful acquisition process.

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Look Ma! I Finally Made My Own Meme!

Posted on August 13, 2026 by Kelsey

Self explanitory, really.

I think DoorDash has peaked. The recent jobs report shows that we have lost jobs here in the US over the last couple of months, and for whatever reason, DoorDash is trying to push theirs down. Only, they don’t have any employees on the road, so they can’t really. They contract the drivers who deliver for them, and pay them about $2 per delivery, plus whatever tips the customer offers on top of having to pay ridiculous fees.

How are they doing it?

Yesterday while I was out, I kept getting the low ball offers that have come frequently recently, and I noticed a new message on the screen. It said that an acceptance rate below 80% will lose Platinum status. Before this, drivers could go lower, but now, having to keep 80% means we have to take the crap orders they send us endlessly, and even lower ones if they chose. Platinum status is what allows a driver to not have to schedule their work in advance and queue up in slots, making work and money available for them while those in the queue have to get scheduled early in order to work at all.

The goal I try to stick to is to be paid at least $1 per mild per delivery. DoorDash is trying to pay far less. And who would tip well when there are fees that can equal close to the cost of the original order? Not many do. On top of it, The fuel prices are outrageous and killing profitability of the drivers, who maintain their own vehicles in very high use, and their own insurance.

Last night I actually earned a fairly good (for me) wage. $17.90 per hour. That was high because the first two orders I got came with good tips. After that, it peatered out and I refused 10 out of the 20 offers sent to me.

It’s going to take some work over the next few days to get it to rise at all, then I have a lot of more recent decliines to remove, which is now going to take a couple of weeks to do. 10% of my rate was yeserday alone, and I need to be less than 20% overall.

So, the result is we drivers are being forced to work for less in order to maintain a status that should be there to pay us more. I don’t know what to do about it. I need the ability to be flexible, and the ability to work around my kids’ school schedules. I also need to be able to earn enough to feed my family and pay our bills. But I also have to buy the gas and the oil and the endless stream of car parts, and pay taxes, on money that is already very low. And with the company tryng to supress the people they contract, there is no way I can say it has anything but passed its peak.

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Health and Unwellfare

Posted on August 3, 2026 by Kelsey

Feeling unwell is tantamount to feeling old. I mean, I don’t think my mortality is at risk here. I am at a far greater risk while doing the work I do. But I do feel that I am beginning to fall apart. It is just a part of the going, isn’t it? It is not exciting. I still feel lucky that I can manage the pain of the vitimin D depletion with a good old glass of milk. Simplicity at its finest. Though I did last night have a response that felt like an allergic reaction, though it was mild. So I will keep an eye out for that. I hope things are coming to a conclusion as far as treatment or surgury goes. I can only wait and see at the moment, as pacing is out of my hands.

So, all of this has got me thinking. I cannot do much in the woodshop, but I can possibly teach from it. Am I a trained cabinet maker? No. But I am learning what I can where I can, and through experience. Maybe I can inspire someone else? Maybe I can do video and web articles. Maybe I can get published somewhere proper, too. Who knows? I am wondering if it is worth getting things going because I am just off working DoorDash right now. That is a constant screw-fest of paying me almost nothing to help them rake in profits for share-holders. This cycle has got to end.

I admit that the photography is the hinderance. I like working my time away with the wood, but I am not in love with stopping to photograph all the time. Who wants to break pace for that? But it would be required to make the videos or articles I would like to publish. They kind of need visuals in both mediums. I have more than a few projects already to keep me occupied long enough to write and video a few things. I would like to leave them as a legacy to the kids and grandkids, too.

There has been too much adventure going on lately. I mean, the Air Conditioning in the car getting working again, only to be pittering out now is one thing. Call that an adventure. I have the tool to keep it going for the summer. But I really would like to have it working all the time, of course. Our eldest found a leak in the radiator of the Honda. Well, that’s not good. Going further afield, there was a fire in Logan last weekend. Sunday morning I woke up to news that the hill along the highway next to the south side of the University had been on fire overnight. Besides the University, the fire was surrounded on all sides by human businesses and dwellings. It could have been devestating, but for the work of the fire crews and police.

There was another shooting, this time in Twin Falls. I don’t need to say how much I hate this, and how much I hate that we will once again do nothing about it. This collective stupidity sucks.

I was like to write a bunch more, but honestly, it is almost 6:30 in the morning, and I am not feeling great. I am also tired from having been awake the last few hours. So I am going to get back to sleep. I hope. Today I am collecting fluids for my calcium test. This is not fun, at all.

Well, I don’t like pissing in a bottle. But it is what has to be done now to get how much calcium I have in my blood. Gives me a chance to prove frequency and quantity. But I don;t like it one bit.

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Vaccination

Posted on July 30, 2026 by Kelsey

A book came into my possession a few months ago, and I found a bit I wanted to share.  The title of the book is “Short Talks With Young Mothers On the Management of Infants and Young Children,” by Charles Gilmore Kerley, M.D..  The book is copyright, 1922, in the USA.  Pp, 269-70

“Vaccination

(Skipping ahead to the fourth paragraph.)

Necessity of vaccination.– Vaccination will always be considered by people who enjoy the possession of an ordinary amount of knowledge and a moderate amount of common-sense as one of the greatest discoveries of medical science.  Since its discovery by Jenner, as statistics show, millions of lives have been saved by vaccination.  It would seem strange that one should feel it necessary to speak in defence of a measure which has been of such incalculable value to the human race, but there are a noisy lot of mentally incompetent anti-vaccinationists, who are not without influence among their kind and the otherwise ignorant, upon whom the following statistic by Allen (Paediatrics, February, 1900) would produce no effect:

In 1871, Germany lost one hundred and forty-three thousand lives by smallpox; in 1874, a law was enacted making vaccination obligatory during the first year of life and compelling its repetition during the tenth year.  The result was that the disease almost entirely disappeared.  At the present time the loss of life from this disease throughout the empire is scarcely one hundred a year.  At the time of the Franco-Prussian War, the entire German Army was re-vaccinated; while in the French Army, vaccination being optional, comparatively few were vaccinated.  Both armies were attacked by smallpox, the French losing twenty-three thousand men, the German, two hundred and seventy-eight.  With such statistics how can there be any plausibility in the argument of the anti-vaccinationists?” 

Seems a long battle has already been fought on the anti-vax front.

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Breezy Summer Evening Feels Good!

Posted on July 28, 2026 by Kelsey

I am sat on the balcony enjoying a lovely breeze brought on by a storm crossing Marsh Valley right now. The temp is down in the low 80’s at last, and being in the shade of the evening side of the house, this feels really nice.

Happily, the sun came back out and the color came along with it. Just moments before this photo was shot, it looked liek one of those low saturation photos that were popular a few years back.

I got my second blood test done today. I am now waiting for them to call me and let me know that there needs to be another draw to get the rest of the panels, like they did last time I did it a month ago. I am eager to hear back and try to start treating this illness. It is frustrating to feel like my internals are being wasted away while there are pains and aches that happen inside. I want to get feeling better, and those pains to go away. Apparently, that is possible. Till that happens, it is a matter of just carrying on, trying to work, and trying to live life as full as I can. But there are limits because of the pains, and because of the exhaustion that has come with it. During the day, I will climb the stairs at one apartment complex, and barely make it to the third floor before feeling like I am going to drop, then later go to another one, and feel more like I am fine, though not completely.

I heard from Autumn again today. A sweet little message, and an update on what she has going on right now. I love hearing from her. I love hearing from all my kids!

Another kid has got car troubles that I have all the gear to help him with. But frustratingly, I need to repair it all. I am so aggrivated by this! I would that I could just ask for gas money and tow him to the city, but it first requires an oil change, a battery, coolant, possibly a new radiator as the coolant keeps leaking out, and two tires for the trailer. How have I come to this? I have the things, nut the things don’t work and I cannot afford to fix them!

I have the island top still curing on the work bench in the shop. Another frustration! I put too thick a layer of boiled linseed oil on at once. I have it thinned down, but it is taking time to harden. It is tactile at the moment, so in order to get the bottom of it done, I flipped it up on one side and laid it against two roped tied from the rafter above to two dogholes on the bench, then used a couple of dogs to hold it from sliding down. In that poisiton, I was able to oil the entire bottom, then lay it down with a single sticker to hold it from fully contacting the top of the bench. Now it has airflow. Laying it back down was, like lifting it up against the ropes, a one person job. I was pretty happy about coming up with that solution, and it is one I will probably use again in the future.

Well, that is almost all I can think to say for now. It was a day off work, so before I went in to get that blood draw, we went for a drive and had lunch out. That’s something we have not done in a long time. That was a really nice way to spend the day with the family! I need to go to work tomorrow. I have some financials to catch up on. I cannot afford to miss any. Monday was not a great day. I got half of what I needed to. Shit.

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